1, 2, 3, 4, 5,...6

C'mon, give me a nickname. Myrtle is fitting for a turtle...or um, how 'bout just tied down for the next era. How long IS an era anyway, like forever I think. Yes, that's my pre-teen daughter coming of age in the background...hangs on my every choice as if she'll dare me to slip up and destroy her future. Moms can.

We are SO powerful, you have no idea...but in small, insignificant ways like cereal buying. Ever since the diabetes, been battling the sugar lords in my mind. Worse than the mafia, I assure you.

It's ALWAYS about my children, and forever shall be.

Being insane is fantastic

All through the grace of God! Slept decent, but when your final dream stars Adrianne Curry, who left the Brady for some bottom-of-the-barrel meth-head who has no apartment, but has the manipulation skills of a familiar ex-Mason...

and your walking past computers in terror has de-volved into trying desperately to type one last little message on a Word Processor with the keys falling off...well, it reminds.

Being back home with my kids today is all the grounding I'll need. Not everyone is as superior at handling the 40 below weather, or the laptop ban that average citizens take for pure granted, but at least, at least my mystical relief will be kind.

Maybe in time, I can forget that a woman last night had an actual orgasm as she prayed the spirit through my belly (ew!) That the prophesiers in the church saw that "my baby will live, he won't die".

I'll hold on to the perspective of the only rational man I encountered (Freemasonry? Yup, I said.) "No matter the outcome, it will be good," he looked at me like a clear-eyed father and said.

"No matter the outcome," I agreed, "it will be good."

Take the influential Kardashian sisters...

as an example. Anyone who's white who takes a Kardashian sister...never speaking to again. Ever. But truly, those large asses weren't graced upon them for no reason...God willed every interaction that complimented those booties...and bitches ate it up, like they always do.

And, they're not ghetto! I love that you never hear about them getting into fist-fights for no reason, and never does a black woman in her right mind say, "that's MY NBA star you're helping yourself to". It's GENIUS!!!

They're getting better at upstaging each other too, which is passion like I've never seen. Can hardly wait to see which enterprise will be taken over by their sensitive, and yielding, little brother.

But back to the most efficient portrayal of white women favoring black men because it's a free world, that I've ever witnessed. Healed every "but, you..." and "but, he..." and "what about..." even a seasoned on-the-fence racist thanks-to-the-media, like me would admit to believing.

I grew up in this culture, yet Black to the Future needs maintaining. These girls do it so authentically, through the pure act of love...replaced all my imaginings.

Waiting patiently for my Americano

Delivery service here, forgot to insist it be topped with whipped cream...will probably get two shots instead of my insane but usual four. It's decaf, so relax...nothing to be concerned or silent about. Decisions, decisions. Hmm.

The life of a free-flying mature, worldly mother...totally enjoying it, thank you. Apparently the Harvest House is a MUST, and some felafel experience I'll never be the same if I don't enjoy. Shall we go to Boulder on Monday? Heard it's unbeatable, so okay. Fine.

First church service is tonight, with a guaranteed meeting with both a "seer" and a "healer". I love the chance to watch God act through others, because I DO believe in it, but am extra-guarded so I don't lose my mind. Surrendering everything to God is one thing, listening to the devil imitating Him...leaves me slightly scared.

Oh prophets, and seers, and healers with the Word of God, be kind.

At what expense, you might ask.

Why, I'll get to that eventually, or if you know me, immediately. I had to wait to buy Glen Hansard AND Sting, or at least hold off a few weeks until our anniversary. Worth the delay? Um, at the time it sure wasn't. There's nothing in the world I desired more than to sit in my car, or in front of my DVD player (works with CDs)...and indulge right away.

I waited, however, like all good wives should. The celebration, and the meaning, and the waiting...wouldn't make me love them any lesser. Turns out, I hated both of the former, and liked Johansson and Pete Yorn better. Always rolls that way, when I wait, and I listen, and obey.

Not Winston Churchill enough

Just my opinion. I don't know what I was expecting, a little more stubborn bravado, less the composed academic we all grow tired of. And like Arianna suggested, a flight suit would've been nice.

I'm so glad I turned immediately to FoxNews for perspective after almost being enlightened by Obama's speech. It was refreshing to find actual journalists with real names, deciding with zero deliberation that this speech was the worst attempt at leadership ever witnessed.

A relief to those of us who oppose just to oppose, without even thinking. Quite the burden lifted, and no, I don't feel the least bit like a traitor. Personally, I raise my children with the "come back with your shield, or on it" mindset, and they know not to cross me. Laconic ancestry, if you must know...and Spartan.

Never would I spare the whip, lest I spoil my children into trusting me. Patriarchy is simply the best and only option, and I quote cartoon Linus whenever the holidays approach (it's my penchant for the city of David). Kidding, that privilege belongs to a rich storyteller whose ratings are worth more than the secrets that probably slip out regularly. Accidentally.

Just imagining, as usual.