Thursday, April 30, 2009

Peace at last

This was going to be entitled "Life is one big cat fight", but then I figured, "who do I have to impress", I'm not linking this one to anything. And frankly, I'll be reclaiming both my 'g's' and my apostrophes, there I feel much better now.

Life really is one big cat fight though, except none of us quite stop to think about what we're fighting towards. Notice how I used towards instead of the many other possibilities...for, with, or not fighting. Amusing to no one but me.

I like this blog the best, sorry if I lied and told you any of the other ones were my favorites. Because I lied, and that's what I'm good at, it's all I know. Lying was bred into me as an infant, into us all. We had to tell each other SOMETHING to explain why we must eat flesh to survive, and so the lying business began and never ended.

Singers lie too. All the time, and more than most which is even worse. Because your heart's involved then, so when you sing and lie, you really go to hell.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Why the hell not, this spot's lonely

God put me on this earth for a reason. I didn't always know this, but I never doubted it. Sometimes I have to remind myself that His purpose is greater than mine, since I don't read the Bible and can't just think of the verses on my own. Must I remind.

Yes, lately I've been dreaming big things. Like that it's possible to be a good role model and to believe in the future. And that doesn't scare me like it used to, back when I felt powerless...guess I've received SOME validation along the way and it makes me feel better. Less alone in my striving.

I didn't think at this young age (no, I'm not like the "new 20's" or anything gay and in denial like that), I'm 35. I didn't suspect that I could look back on my life with clarity, until I actually died. But I can see now, how everything happens for a reason, even the especially good stuff, even the stuff you didn't know was bad.

It strengthens you when you finally see it, in fact it's a relief. Because you can keep moving forward then, energy intact, restored where you lost it. Knowing that all God wants for any of us is to follow His plan. To follow His path.