Chime in, anytime. So a couple months ago I heard about the crisis announced to EVERYONE on Facebook. You know, so betrayed, life is over, etc. Alas, what could cause such a stir in an otherwise stable, polished professional's life? Leaked out IMMEDIATELY that her NEW husband cheated on her with his ex-wife! I mean we'd all heard he was a serial philanderer, cheated on all three of the mothers of his children afterall. Could the right woman change him, maybe the PERFECT woman? Time would sure tell.

Grandstand

A functional parade with dandelions blowing in the breeze, seen it anywhere? That space, where someone listened intently, whose very existence resonated with my every held thought, belief, and expression? Life wouldn't remain complete without it, that reliable space of forever beholding.

It is God, only castmember left. But the romance, the affair of the heart that encourages the entire finished act to be said out loud. I love you earth, wind, breeze... love you summer ending up as autumn even when you couldn't have planned it. It just was.

God, are u in there? Standing above and beyond, leading the pack, the star. Famous for no reason but pure luck, circumstance, and an extra-driven edge. Plus, knowing people.

Harmony restored

First day that homelife actually fell into the rhythm I savor...rising together with the same sense of purpose, breakfast enjoyed and then scheduled fun. Time with my oldest has never felt so important as she bridges into adolescence, a girl I adore.

All these ages that will never recur, not a moment missed, no memory neglected...it's ours to revere. Looking ahead at the lives we'll be leading, adult children and elderly parents, that'll someday be us. Can't take any of it for granted, and won't.

Never tempted.

Fashion bound

Falling back into love

...with a life filled with love, and many blessings. Dare I try it? It's still spring and with summer cheating on all of us and showing up today, being perfect without asking. Traveling deep within all my prejudices, healing scars from my past as they call out my name.

Facing aging, lifetime's milestones, that next stage of journeying. Taking something of it for myself, planning ahead, plotting the length before me. Bearing judgment I've deserved, but walking forward, still hoping.

Things of this earth

No, that roadblock right there. Squint harder. Few people will bask in mothering three-year-old toddlers like I will. On an off-day, like today perhaps, reading that board book for the first time (not the zillionth) might strain nerves they ordinarily wouldn't.

Best time, of her life and mine. For me, it's not just a day filled with meditation, in between studying and laundry, but just another ordinary day to work harder. Maybe I'm working harder at feeling less bored today, when I wouldn't ordinarily.

Allowing for today, and its roadblocks and new boredom...has no predictable influence on tomorrow. Which will automatically be different, just how it is.

Narcissism wins!!!

Reading the future

I'm following my counselor's advice to the tee, staying fully present in every moment, becoming rubber and just being. It's allowing all of my energy ties to release their holds, past and present. The future still bodes.

I don't know why I keep the same vision intact, as if I could ever know something ahead of its being true. The pace at which I'm developing and refining all my skills...beyond supernatural, something larger's working its way through.

Don't know what, or why. Just that I'm being the best mom and wife I can be, as if every cherished moment is one less regret. Filling my albums with pictures and memories, so in the end, in the end then what?

Well, I'll know I've done my best. That's GOT to be the reason for all this strange, unexpected striving. Or, I just realize life is short and this is the only chance we get.

No open gym today

Today is two appointment Monday, which was going to be Mute Monday...but well, you know. Daniel Merriweather just came on VH1, so another victory. "You see the pictures...but you don't know their names..." whatever that means.

"All of these problems, they're all in your head." And I can't be someone else. Who can, really? I tried throughout this weekend to accept my passion for feng shui as not just normal, but a productive use of mime energy.

And, it works!! Your outer environment is an exact replica of your inner experience, and so if something is triggered within, by say, a sight line. Just fix it, and a space is cleared in your being. If you can't mime at it and produce a pose, it still counts!

If you can mime at it, yet not with pure energy...mission not accomplished. Blogging the aftermath, not recommended.

Less than ten minutes

I just feel openhearted and accepting of all the people in my life, everywhere. And I'm sure, as confirmed by my mystical influence (Myss) that every measure of positive change, release, acceptance makes an actual knowable seeable influence somewhere else on earth.

Believe in the power of that influence and walk all of the roads. Could cure what ails the whole world with that belief on go.

Ice cold tears

Cried last night (as if this is Monday). Only for the briefest moment as I looked back at what kind of mother I've been this past year. Not a good one. Too much fighting for no reason, and probably too much excitement and ridiculous human conditions beyond my soul's choosing.

Because a soul would never be stupid enough to choose half the things I've lived this year. Right?

My dad's heading out 2nite

I'm sure the cabin will miss him greatly all weekend. Got a cross sums book I'm totally heading towards, my one affliction...let's not go there. No Fresca, I promise.

Bubbly and refreshing, but still, no. Wouldn't drink it even if offered to me by, oh never mind. I'm working on my basement and making linear progress. Meaning, my sight lines are getting cleared out, does that make me annoying?

Is it weird that I want to literally put on a cape and fly around my basement, up the stairs, into cleaning mode when need be. Like a superhero, yeah. I said it.

So there.